Laundry and Cleaning
by Alchemy202
Summary: When the time to do laundry comes, Who does it?


Edward Elric wasn't known as one to be a neat freak, by the looks of it; it looked as though a tornado went through his belongings. Books laid everywhere, strewn on a bookshelf, pages down, or behind his bed, in his bed, or occasionally, Alphonse's bed.

Yes, Edward Elric wasn't neat. While a mess could be easily cleaned up in a couple of minutes, the thing Edward Elric dreaded most was…Laundry. Edward was known to wear his clothes to the max, getting the maximum amount of dirt, grime, wear, and whatever else accumulated on those clothes. When the clothes got too dirty, or Hawkeye scolded him for wearing dirty clothes, he would throw the old ones in his suitcase and put on clean ones. While the dirty ones would lie in the suitcase, forgotten, he would be wearing clean ones.

One day, Edward was once again scolded by Hawkeye, Yelled at by Mustang, gently scolded by Alphonse, and given the cold hard truth about his clothes by Havoc.

"Boss, your clothes smell like Black Hayate's fur after he has been playing in the mud in the rain."

So, as Edward usually did, he went to his suitcase and looked for clean clothes.

The sad truth was that there weren't any clean ones left.

Yes, this was the trouble about clothes, you had to wash them.

Edward cursed this day, and muttered something about blaming it on the Homunculi. After being told by Al that he **had** to wash his clothes sooner or later, Edward challenged Al to a card game, If Ed won, Alphonse had to do the Laundry, but if Alphonse won, Edward would have to wash his own clothes and clean the room they were currently staying at to a sparkly shine.

After a careful and close game of cards; with Edward reaching inside his coat for no reason, Edward inevitably won.

"See, I have good luck, and now, you have to do the la-la-laundry! As an added bonus, you get to clean the room!" Edward cheerfully said.

"Cleaning the room wasn't part of the deal Brother, don't try and push that on me." Alphonse said.

Alphonse reasoned that Edward had won because he was nervous. While Edward did his little victory dance, Al realized at an instant that there had been some foul play. Peering closely into his coat, he could see that there were cards stuck to the inside of his red jacket.

"So that's what he had been doing, switching out cards." Al muttered to himself.

"Brother! How could you?" Alphonse screeched

"D-d-do wh-wha-what Al? What could I have possibly done for you to get so suspicious?" Edward stammered out.

"Cheating at our card game, that's what you did." Alphonse shot back.

"You wanted to get out of doing the laundry again didn't you? And you cheated by switching out cards inside your coat!" Alphonse said pointing at his jacket.

"Oh come on Al! There are no cards inside my coat, it was a fair game!" Edward said in his defense.

"Then what are those things hanging inside your coat then?" Alphonse asked, towering over his brother.

"These? These? Theses, are umm well, they are special things that hang in your jacket to ward of evil ghosts and spirits, and they keep your clothes…fresh." Edward said

"Unlikely Ed. I know for a fact that you don't need card shaped things to protect yourself against ghosts and spirits. You said it yourself when I suggested spirit cards to you." Alphonse finished, impressed with his speech.

"But, but Al!" Edward said feeling like he had lost.

"No buts Ed, you are doing the laundry, and you have to clean the room. I won, you lost. That was the rules." Alphonse said.

"But, BUT AL! Those were the old rules, they don't matter anymore! And besides, I don't have playing cards inside my jacket!" Edward yelled.

Alphonse wasn't known to get mean, frustrated, or violent. But as an unordinary act of his character, he walked up to his brother and shook his jacket.

At an instant, playing cards were falling out of his jacket, all of them bad cards.

"So Ed. What are these then? Anti-fire cards to use against the Colonel?" Alphonse questioned.

There was silence between the two and Edward finally admitted his defeat.

"Fine, you **WON **and I lost." He said spite present in his voice.

A couple of hours later, after much argument, and a plea for a rematch, only to be heard on deaf ears by Alphonse, Edward gathered up his laundry, and Al's loincloths(He kindly threw them in right as Ed was going to wash his clothes),went outside and filled a tub with water. He threw soap in and made the water hot via Alchemy and went to the hard work of washing clothes.

Edward realized that every other time the Laundry was done, it was done by Al.

The caked on dirt, mud, lint, food, automail oil, you name it; it was probably on the clothes. Edward worked hard trying to get the dirt out of his clothes.

So the question reveals itself, how the hell did Alphonse get the dirt out of these clothes?

After much work, cursing and pruned skin, Edward had finally washed all of his clothes, and Al's loincloths. Exhausted from his work, he collapsed on the bed ready to get shut eye. While Ed was dreaming about his own tall self, Alphonse inspected the clothes that Ed had washed.

"Not bad, he did a decent job, and it looks like he figured out just how hard it is to wash his clothes" Alphonse said.

Later that evening, Edward woke up and Alphonse told him "Part II" of his bet; Cleaning their room. This meant washing the sheets, dusting, organizing various objects, and of course, washing things.

Poor Edward didn't have the strength to do it, and promised Al that he would do it tomorrow.

As tomorrow dawned, so came the work known as cleaning. Edward worked hard, and not being patient, he gave up halfway trying to dust in high places and sneaked out of the room.

Al, being the kind soul he was, finished up the work.

When Edward came back to the room, he found the room even messier than when he had started. Alphonse had a plan in place if Edward did what he did, skipping out on cleaning.

The bookshelf was toppled, there was dust everywhere, the beds were messy, there was what looked like a knife stabbed in the floor, and it looked like a hurricane came through.

Alphonse looked at Ed, and grinned evilly.

"Brother! It seems as though your cleaning didn't do much, seeing as it is still really messy in here. I guess you will just have to clean again…" Alphonse said with an evil grin.

Edward Elric, The Fullmetal Alchemist, could have died right then and there.

For the next week, Ed cleaned that room to its cleanest possible, not missing a single spot. After this grueling task, his stomach growled, LOUD.

"Hey Al, Can you make something to eat?" Edward asked

"No can do Brother, I cooked last time, It's your turn now." Alphonse said.

Once again, Edward Elric, The Fullmetal Alchemist, could have died, right then and there.


End file.
